SUCCESSFUL GOALS: WHY THE JOURNEY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE DESTINATION
"It’s good to have an end to journey toward; but it's also the journey that matters, in the end"
Ernest Hemingway
1. THE Goal is just a pin on a map
Goals can be really restrictive, yes, you heard me, really restrictive. Don’t get me wrong, I am totally in favour of setting goals, working towards a life vision, but, and it’s a big BUT, if you allow the journey towards your goal to narrow your vision too much then it becomes a bit of a drag. How many of you have tried out a really restrictive diet? The grapefruit diet, for example, where you eat, well, grapefruit, is all well and good for the first breakfast, but after that it all goes pretty downhill! Doing only one thing and focussing your whole being on that can be a bit like eating grapefruit: boring, repetitive and uninspiring.
Travelling blinkered in one direction and ignoring the view from the window or not stopping to take in the scenery can be just as dull and don’t forget, working towards your goals is a journey of sorts, with the very same highs and lows. Think of your goal as a push pin on a map .. keep it in your sights but don’t forget to explore the landscape all around and the places along the route. That way you will stay motivated, inspired and are much more likely to reach the destination under that pushpin. And don’t be afraid to change direction: when one route gets overgrown or impassable reflect, refocus and find an alternative route
Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, study, sacrifice and most of all love of what you are doing. Highly successful people have an awful lot more going on than their important “project”, they stay motivated by variety, challenge and a broad and balanced lifestyle . Let’s looking more detail at what motivates and encourages successful people to keep moving forwards.
2. the key to happiness and success is harmony
How balanced is your life right now? When I first started goal setting my life definitely swung right out of kilter. I spent every day following my goal planning route, self-care was pushed to the far extremes of the map and spirituality was nowhere to be seen. Obviously some areas will be less important to you than others but to be at your very best you need a degree of holistic harmony, to be multi-dimensional, not just a one-trick pony in order to be successful and stay focussed.
Balance in life is vital to happiness and wellbeing. Without it life can be two dimensional and feel flat. And you know the phrase: All work and no play makes Jill a very dull girl? Lack of balance can also, potentially, make you ill: stress and burnout are worst when there is no outlet other than a glass of wine in front of the TV before bed. Obviously there is a time and place for chilling out and doing nothing but, yes you guessed it, keep it in balance!
Very often when goal setting we hyper-focus, which will often push aside anything we subconsciously see as unrelated to the goal. This is where the idea of harmony is important. Reaching our goal of a big work promotion is not so great if in order to achieve it we’ve missed out on too much family time or cancelled three consecutive date nights with our partner as we are too tired to go out. We need to focus on the whole person: physical, mental, emotional and social. It is my firm belief that we are our best selves when we are in balance holistically. Balance comes in many forms: living true to our values, having control over our emotions, having fun alongside hard work. And just as a weighing scale needs constant readjustment so we need to constantly evolve and reassess where we are in order to keep the equilibrium. It is a constant cycle of plan - reflect - refocus that continuously moves us forward in balance and leads to growth.
So on your journey make time to just be, to sit and take in the scenery, to recharge your batteries, to find that all important balance and you will find you are happier and success will likely be more within reach.
“Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness, it turns out, is largely a matter of conscious choice, and discipline.”
James C. Collins
3. Challenges and obstacles are the opportunities for something amazing
Successful people thrive on obstacles: obstacles teach you virtues, they teach you to think, they teach you to know yourself. See obstacles as challenges, as chances to prove yourself, as opportunities to grow and you will learn to welcome obstacles into your life. Challenging experiences make you a better version of yourself, they give you clarity and help you to put life’s stresses into perspective. Ultimately a challenge is an opportunity to change, to grow, to think outside the box.
And let’s face it, with every journey there are obstacles to smooth travel: a flight delay or cancellation, lost luggage, a fallen tree on the track. What determines whether the journey is still pleasurable or an unmitigated disaster is our attitude to the obstacle. See the obstacle as a challenge and you have an experience you can grow from, a story to tell. See the obstacle as an unsurmountable barrier and your journey is over, ending most likely on a sour note.
A few things to keep in mind when faced with those seemingly insurmountable obstacles:
• Try to be objective
• Try to control emotions and keep an even keel
• Choose to see the good in a situation
• Try to ignore what limits or disturbs others: this is your journey
• Try to get things in perspective
• Try to be in the present
• Try to focus on what can be controlled
4. Mindset and attitude keep you on the right track
You too can be successful in life if you make some simple changes to your mindset. Having a positive attitude is key to overcoming obstacles. If you have give up thoughts you will remain stuck. If you have go-to thoughts which are more rational then you are more likely to move forwards. A lot of the give up thoughts you have are automatic: they just pop into your head uninvited and take-over. These are natural thoughts and emotions but in order to overcome any obstacle that gets in the way you need to get control of them. How can you turn these thoughts into positives? People with a growth rather than a fixed mindset are happy to put in effort and practice, they see challenges as a chance to grow and develop or as an opportunity to find a new path. They believe that they can learn anything. They see feedback and criticism as an opportunity. They are resilient to adversity and have a strong mental fortitude. They have belief that there is an answer to everything it just needs to be found:
A fixed mindset says "I can't do that"
A growth mindset says "I can't do that yet"
Success in anything you do brings happiness and a sense of wellbeing. That's not to say failure is necessarily bad. Don't be afraid to try and fail. If you don't apply for the job you won't get it, if you don't put on your boots and set off on the trail you won't climb the mountain. Here are my view on what makes people a success.
Successful people:
• Work hard
• Are curious and continually learn
• Strive for greatness
• Are passionate and do what they love
• Don't quit
• Think laterally and are creative
• Are self reliant and don't blame others
• Keep things in perspective
• Reflect and refocus
• Plan, plan, plan
• Have high expectations of themselves
• Don't procrastinate, use time well
• Think positively
• Are calm and relaxed
• Focus
• Enjoy life, stay fit and healthy
• Respond don't react
5.What draws you to succeed?
What does success mean to you? I hope it means achieving your goals but not at the expense of an harmonious life.
A positive attitude can't move mountains but it can certainly help you get to the top of one. To get to the top you need to put one foot in front of the other, plan the best route, rest when you’re weary, drink when you’re thirsty and reflect and refocus when things don’t go quite to plan.
But most of all enjoy the trek, stay open to experiences and cherish the journey. Without the enjoyment you will be less inspired, the journey will be tedious and at the slightest hurdle you will be inclined to turn back. Think how exciting a piece of chocolate cake would be after a week of grapefruit!
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